


T'Challa "Forgets" to Take Shuri to Beychella

by monteyjames



Category: Black Panther (2018)
Genre: Beychella, Pettiness, beyhive - Freeform, coachella, evil genius shuri, t'challa catches high hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-23 23:21:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14343102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monteyjames/pseuds/monteyjames
Summary: Shuri is a Beyhive member and wanted to go to Coachella to see Beyonce perform. that didn't happen. What happens next is on T'Challa's head





	T'Challa "Forgets" to Take Shuri to Beychella

Shuri: ...

T’Challa: look I’m sorry th-

Shuri: yes. You are. 

T’Challa: I didn’t know that Beyoncé was going to be performing

Shuri: how? HOW. HER NAME WAS ON THE DAMN LIST!!! AND YOU'VE BEEN TO COACHELLA SIX TIMES BEFORE!

T’Challa: but I heard that the performance is on YouTube so you can see it there. 

Shuri: YouTube? YOUTUBE. YOUTUBE IS NOT LIVE. YOUTUBE IS NOT THE ATMOSPHERE OF BEING THERE. DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW RARE IT IS FOR HER TO PERFORM AT COACHELLA. TO BRING DESTINY'S CHILD AND SOLANGE OUT THIS IS A ONE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE THAT I WILL NEVER HAVE. 

T’Challa: but she has other concerts!

Shuri: No concert is the same T’Challa! You can’t just _go_ to ONE FUCKING CONCERT and expect for her to do the same damn thing! She isn’t you and your boring ass!

T’Challa: Now that was hurtful 

Shuri: You know what else is hurtful?! You not taking me to Coachella this year!!! But you have the entire nerve to have me working with these tired ass avengers who wasted my ENTIRE DAMN TIME arguing about irrelevant shit like whether pineapple goes on pizza when I had already thought of 20 effective solutions to take out Thanos!!! And that was in the FIRST FIVE MINUTES. 

T’Challa: But it was probably just a 20 minute performance! 

Shuri: 20 minutes? NO. IT WAS TWO DAMN HOURS LONG!! Do you know what else was 2 hours long? These idiots in their quest to put together an over glorified DVD player! Two hours of my that I will never get back!!! 2 Hours that I could’ve spent- wait for it- AT. COACHELLA. I COULD HAVE MET BEYONCÉ AND TAKEN A PHOTO WITH HER TO SHOW MY FUTURE CHILDREN!!! THIS IS NOT JUST SOMETHING THAT ISN'T THAT BIG OF A DEAL T'CHALLA!!!!!!!!!! YOUR BIRTHDAY ISNT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. THANOS ISNT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. THIS? THIS IS!!

T’Challa: I’m pretty sure that Thanos wa-

Shuri: NO!!! I could’ve taken either the space stone or the time stone and trapped Thanos in an infinite loop with one hit from my sound blasters which realistically would’ve taken 20 minutes had you all not taken so long and STILL COULD'VE GONE TO COACHELLA. 

T’Challa: You’re not going to let this go anytime soon are you?

Shuri: Just like you won’t let go of those dusty ass dog chew toys that you call sandals. showing off your crusty ass feet. Boy bye!

Okoye: What in Bast’s name is going on in here?! I could hear the screams all the way from the landing deck!

Shuri: FINALLY! A BLACK WOMAN! Okoye! Back me up here! I was calmly and politely trying to explain to my brother the importance of a young girl like me to meet her idols face to face as I face my development into a strong, confident and independent grown woman. And he’s just not getting it!

T’Challa: Seriously?!

Shuri: Shut up

Okoye: Excuse me?

Shuri: Beyoncé performed at Coachella this weekend and instead of me being there, I had to miss it because of Thanos and… those irrelevant people whom we don’t speak of

Okoye: I see what’s going on now. Shuri, I understand that rare moments happen in a lifetime and you’d want to be there firsthand for what always looks fun and exciting. But you have to understand that the role you play where you are now is just as rare and important. And maybe even in the future you will still have a chance to meet Queen Bey

Shuri: King

T’Challa: See this is what I trying to get her to see the importance of

Okoye: And besides, T’Challa had already met Beyoncé previously at one of these concerts. So your time will come

Shuri: …. what?

T’Challa: Oh no…

Okoye: Did he not tell you?

T’Challa: Oh no no no no

Shuri: You. Met. Beyoncé. And. DIDN'T. So much. As. Bring. Me. An. Autograph?

T’Challa: Umm… Okoye are you sure there was not another reason you were here for?

Okoye: T’Challa! How could you?

T’Challa: I didn’t think it was THAT important!

Shuri: Not important? Huh. It’s okay. I forgive you. 

T’Challa: You do? 

Shuri: Yes. *I* do. 

T’Challa: Something sounded verrry wrong about that I of hers. 

oh how little did he know what hell he has unleashed upon his life. It was bad enough for him to have went to Coachella more than once in his lifetime, and even worse that she didn't get to go, but BEYONCE?! to find out that not only was SHE there the ONE DAMN TIME that Shuri isn't AND that T'Challa actually met her and DIDN'T SAY A DAMN THING LIKE IT DIDN'T MATTER?!? I think that in that moment, his baby sister snapped. Godspeed you lovable handsome UTTER DUMBASS. may you live long enough to regret your actions.

The next _fucking_ day...

T’Challa: Ahh good morning Nakia! How are-

Nakia: T’Challa. Whatever you do, do not go to your social media today

T’Challa: What? Why?

Nakia: It’s Shuri! Her YouTube!

T’Challa: Wait. You’re not making any sense. What did Shuri do on YouTube? Is she okay?

Nakia: Just… pull up her latest video

Shuri: _Hello all of my wonderful subscribers!! I’m hoping that you all are having a wonderful day and to all of you who went to Coachella, an even more wonderful weekend seeing as I didn’t get to! Yes. That’s right. Your girl missed Coachella and the most important performance of a lifetime by Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter. And do you all want to know why? Because my loving caring idiotic big brother decided not to tell me and said yesterday that Beyoncé was overrated and not that important! I tried to politely tell him how wrong it was to refer to an amazing entertainer in such a disrespectful manner but he dug his heels in. I even learned that he took a photo with her a few years before, making himself to be a hypocrite and a deceiver! I think I remember him also saying something about her being trashy too. So if you would like to politely leave him some thoughts about his behavior, all of his social media handles are @iamkingtchalla. His Instagram, his twitter, his Snapchat, ALL. OF. IT. Have a wonderful day! Shuri signing off!_

T’Challa: …. what did she do?

Nakia: I believe that all of your social media has been hacked. 

T’Challa: How? We have the most advanced and impenetrable cyber security led b- oooooohhhh nooooo

T’Challa hurriedly accessed his twitter account, his Facebook, his Instagram and saw that all of them were hacked into. All of his posts were deleted and replaced or edited with text saying that he was ashy and trash and had no taste in good music. The replies to his posts are filled with threats and bee emojis and his photos were photoshopped with him being thrown in the trash! What type of fresh hell has his sister unleashed? 

T'Challa: umm... I-I'm Sure that all of this will blow over by the end of the day. R-Right? 

WRONG.

The following week has been nothing but a nightmare! Aside from his social media being inaccessible, there were videos and journal entries “leaked” all over the internet and to other diplomats and representatives of all of his embarrassing moments. One in particular was him being scared by an elephant when he was fifteen and falling into elephant feces. He got messages from M’Baku and Erik clowning him for three days straight!!! He got clowned in Korea because of a video surfacing of him doing embarrassing dances in the bathroom and singing terribly to R Kelly music while blackout drunk. His ex, Monica Lynn called him up to curse him out when she learned that he was a being a Thot back when they were in college! Tony stark sent him a video “cheering him up” all the while enjoying the fact that it wasn’t him getting his dirty laundry aired out for the entire world so see. Literally. Shuri had a minion ship out his dirty draws out to the avengers. Her pettiness knew no bounds. 

It was then that T’Challa knew what had to be done to end it

T’Challa: SHURI I AM SORRY AND I WILL GET BEYONCÉ TO SING FOR YOU AT YOUR SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAY!!!!! JUST MAKE IT STOP!!!! 

Shuri: Huh? 

T’Challa: THE MESSAGES. THE VIDEOS. THE JOURNAL ENTRIES. JUST. MAKE IT ALL STOP!!!

Shuri: Ohhhhh. That wasn’t me at all. 

T’Challa: WHAT?!??! 

Shuri: Yes. I made the YouTube video, but I wasn’t the one who hacked your kimoyo beads or any of your social media pages. But I did look into it for your and it turns out that W’Kabi was behind all of it. He learned how to hack into all of your stored data and decided to spread it across the world

T’Challa: I am. Going. To. KILL. HIM. GUARDS. SOMEONE BRING ME W'KABI SO THAT I DIG MY CLAWS INTO HIS CHEST

Shuri: and I’ll get right on reversing all that he did. Bye brother! 

As soon as T’Challa left out of her lab, Shuri broke down in laughter, followed by intense cackling. Now she managed to destroy her brother’s social life and end W’Kabi’s life for good! All she had to do was learn how to mask her trails in cyberspace and duplicate someone else’s trail and hide her trail under theirs so that it looked exactly like they did it and now everyone would think that they were responsible for her actions this whole time. Everything else was child’s play. 

Shuri: and that my dear brother is why you should’ve taken me to Coachella. Now to ruin that colonizer Toni Lauren or whatever her name is.


End file.
